France was far too French, Spain was full of Spaniards, and Poland stank of farts.

I am aware that there are complex rules to the casual soccer fan following the World Cup. And, I'm trying. Swear I am.

In spite of my general distaste for US nationalism (for the past six years or so), I'm supporting my countrymen in the Cup. They fucking broke my heart on Monday, but I'm still in this thing, I'll be glued to the set on Saturday afternoon, likely cursing at the television (and uttering offensive epithets having to do with pasta and pizza and cannoli... perhaps telling Totti just what he should do with various cannoli).

My secondary team is, of course, Switzerland. A team that has never gotten a red card in World Cup play. They are unfailingly polite, to a fault, really, considering yesterday's result. It was alarming that five of them got yellow cards yesterday, though, and I'm hoping that next week they put the hurt on the Togolese and at least get cards for a reason. Though Degen (or was it Magnin?) taking Zidane down by the face yesterday was pretty great.

I'm aware that supporting Schweiz violates the rules, but I'm comfortable with my reasons (among them, there's a Swiss player whose name is Gygax. Gygax!).

After my secondary team, things get dicey for me. And it's all perhaps indicative of my still-childlike view of soccer and the World Cup. I have trouble bringing the geopolitical element in in matches that I've watched, such as:
Netherlands v. Serbia and Montenegro: OK, here I know that I should root for Serbia. But I can't. The Dutch players are dressed head-to-toe in orange. Orange! Some of them even have bright orange cleats. They have hilarious names! Ruud Van Nistlerooy? Who can argue with that? Sorry S&M, I know this your swan song together, I know you're an underdog, but I can't get on board (and Slate's Dispatches offer other compelling support for me in my confusion).

Mexico v. Iran: Yeah, I couldn't get behind Iran here.

Germany v. Costa Rica: I wanted the Germans, the WC's gracious hosts, to start off well. I thought it'd be nice for them. I'd likely be pleased for Poland this afternoon, though. They need this one. And it'd make things interesting in Group A.

Trinidad & Tobago v. Sweden: To my credit, I did right by the Trinidadians and Tobagoans. That was one heck of a match.

Spain v. Ukraine: Am pleased for Spain. Don't worry, I feel a little dirty about it, but everyone expects them to advance and get knocked out, and given their group, the Ukraine don't have all that much to worry about, right? My affection for Spain's side is super childish, as I never really studied Spanish and have only visited briefly. But... BUT, there's Carles Puyol. I've blogged about him before. I have no good reason to nuture an affection for him. He doesn't even have an X in his name, like so many other Spanish players. They do call him "Corazon De Lion" in Catalonia, though, and that's pretty cool. Also, I had a very weird dream in which he drove me around Barcelona in an early-80s Volvo station wagon (only after I had good seats at the Nou Camp for a match–though, it was a WC match, which made no sense–, of course). I figure, if the Lionheart were to get far in the Cup, it'd definitely cap off a helluva year for him.

We don't need to discuss the fact that, when not dreaming about work, I'm dreaming about the World Cup and international soccer players. Too many ins and outs and what-have-yous there.

So, basically, I'm failing at earning legitimacy as a follower of the game (aside from the getting up ass-early bit). I started out fine, with the US and Switzerland, but on a match-by-match basis, I am fickle and unstudied. Maybe next time. I mean, it took a while for me to develop legitimacy as a Red Sox fan (aside from birth, that is... I didn't "get it" for many years). In fact, you would think my prickly, Sox fan, New Englander heart would be capable of drawing lines in the sand for supporting soccer teams. But since I know so little about all of the teams, I'm easily wooed by funny names, uniforms, silly fans, and weird dreams about Catalan footballers.

I'm going to work at this thing. There's a nice pub close to my office that has Canadian commentary (I can't even tell you how much better it is than the ESPN nonsense) and numerous televisions.

For anyone who's interested, Slate's Cup Dispatches are pretty good.

ps. Red Sox: Sorry for the neglect. I've got to work out a couple of things. I still love you.