04 June 2006

This is why we are the world's only super power. No, really.

(Note: you may consider this Part One in a larger series entitled: "The 36-Hour Bender. Boy Are We Stupid.")

My friends and countrypeople,

As I'm sure you are aware, there are times when we as Americans are tested. We are asked to rise to the occasion, to strike a blow for the forces of good in this world. We must test our mettle and show the world what this great country of ours is all about.

I am pleased to inform you, oh readers two (or three), that myself and Claire (along with the usual suspects) are no slouches when it comes to these kinds of responsibilities. Claire's good friend (from those days abroad in London) Lara has been staying with us for a few days, and we gathered some of the troops together for a rooftop picnic on Friday evening. Sadly, it rained like the dickens, so we picnicked on the floor in the living room instead. Josh brought along his new (subletting) roommate Katrin, who is from Germany.

Aside from giving our guests a pleasant meal, we wanted to give them a true American experience. We therefore turned to Melody Lanes here in Brooklyn, site of past exploits and glories.

And so, we braved the elements and bellied up to Melody's bar for some Buckets of Rocks before we showed our friends from abroad in what manner we are known to roll here in the good ol' US of A.

Here, in no particular order, are some photos of this venture. The quality varies in proportion to my consumption of Rolling Rock (my game varied in much the same manner).

Tyler demonstrates how one selects a good bowling ball. It must be approximately the same size as your head. He then communed with the ball, asking it to "show me your wisdom."

Erica celebrates a solid roll. Strike one for America (Erica.. America. Coincidence? I think not).

Marty knows I've just rolled a gutterball.

I am displeased by said gutterball.

Josh knows all about the restorative powers of the bucket o' rocks. Also, he knows that you've got to live life to the fullest and fucking get out there and experience it. He does not, however, look like a young Lorne Michaels.

One of our international pupils, Lara, watches the action with Erica and Marty.

Katrin, a credit to her people, has just rolled a strike.

Somehow, I (at least I think it was me... coulda been some one else though... damn you, Rolling Rock!) took this picture upside down. I believe Claire was "robbed" of something.

Lara cannot believe how sophisticated we are here in America.

Katrin selects a weapon for another battle with those pesky pins.

Roomies bond over Rocks. Also, Josh attempts to put his eyeball into his beer.

Claire performs a neat arabesque. That's talent, folks. You can't teach that.

In case you were curious, I am about six years old.

The highlight of the evening, for all of us, I think, was when a child walked up to Seth and said (someone correct me if I'm wrong): "I like the way you roll."

He likes the way Seth rolls.

Firstly, duh. Everyone likes the manner in which Seth rolls.

Secondly, well played anonymous kid. Well played. You are a credit to your parents. Though it would have been way cooler if you'd said "I like the way you roll. Teach me, O wise one." Next time.

Stick a fork in him, people. Josh is done.

Good times were had by all. We really tore the place up with our bowling prowess and ended the evening on a high note by dining on White Castle at 2am in the middle of the 15-block death march from bowling alley to bed.

Mission accomplished, fellow patriots. Mission accomplished.

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