20 January 2006

The-o! Aaww sugar sugar. You are my candy giiiirrrlll...

I'm taking a moment's rest from the Quest to See My Desk to really relish the official return of Boston's favorite son. My mother called me at 11:15 last night (which freaked the wife out a lot... she thought something was amiss with the family Mohan) to tell me the good news. And indeed it is good. Soxaholix tell it like it is (epic, dramatic, etc.): "Zeus has sent thundah out of a cleah blue sky — Odysseus has returned!" Theo likely returned as a gorilla, loyal swineherd at his side, and Lucky Lucchino (here's hoping those D.C. rumors are true... sorry Tobs) probably set up the row of axes on the outfield and Theo had to shoot an arrow through them all the way to the red seat in the bleachers.

I'm glad that after two months of the front office dudes all having a pissing contest, and then standing around and comparing their johnsons, they all finally agreed that they no one is dissing anyone else's johnson or pissing-for-distance ability. Yes, yes. You're all very virile baseball men with big johnsons and lots of money and respeck and all that. Now, go out there and get me a muther-effing SHORTSTOP! And stop trying to trade Manny, dickheads. That chapter of the offseason is over.

And, fine if you want to call T-Dog a "consultant" or whatever, but eventually you're all going to have to put your "pride" away and agree that he's the GM. Alright? We clear on this?

Welcome home Theo. Ummmm... Marry me?

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