I suppose it's no secret that I make it my business to bake and cook tasty things so my friends and associates will put up with my pissing and moaning about violations of grammar, punctuation, and style. Sure, I'll annoy the bejesus out of you talking about apostrophes, but then I'll make a blueberry cake. It's easy to forgive my little idiosyncracies, right? RIGHT?
Ahem, anyway. Two recent attempts on my sanity include the movie title "A Scanner Darkly," and the Adidas tagline "Impossible is nothing."
A Scanner Darkly. I'm aware that it's based on a book of the same title by Philip K. Dick . And wikipedia has a nice explanation of the title's origins:
The "scanner" of the title is a holographic recorder/projector on which the main character views clips of his own life but doesn't recognize them. It is also a reference to a Biblical verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that includes "we see as through a mirror darkly", and thus refers to the main character's weak grasp on reality. Ingmar Bergman's 1961 film, Through a Glass Darkly, lifts its title from the same passage. Furthermore, the initials of Scanner Darkly are also the initials of Substance D.
...and yet. The lack of verb combined with the usage of an adverb really sticks in my craw. As in matters of Nair and playing basketball with an injured thumb, this is why I have a cell phone, people. Call me up and I'll dispel any confusion regarding a questionable course of action (and while you're at it, remind me to put on my goddamn sunblock). Granted, the book was written before I was born. But every time I see the movie poster, I have a little shudder of disgust. And, if Philip K. Dick thinks he's too good for verbs in titles, I become wary of reading his book. So there.
And on to the Adidas campaign. Sweet fancy Moses do I love these ads. But the tagline?
Impossible is nothing.
Barf barf barf.
What in the hell does that mean? OK, so in that meeting, they were thinking of going with "Nothing is impossible," a perfectly respectable tagline and sentiment. But then some chucklehead said "Oh, you know what would be edgy? If we switched that around and made it into not English!" And then the bossmanorlady was like "Oh, that's sounds cool (because he/she doesn't want to seem out of touch with the kids). Let's do that." And everyone agreed because they didn't want the bossmanorlady to think that they weren't edgy.
I hope to God that someone in that meeting died a little inside as they saw that getting finalized. Because, though I love (LOVE) the Impossible Team featured in the ads, they are sucking my will to live with the tagline. Go out and play soccer, kids! Nothing is impossible! Except for you being able to communicate effectively in writing one day, because your elders (who presumably passed English in school) don't care. Or fuck up the language on purpose (I'm looking at you, "Two Weeks Notice").
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I know that I'm not writing about punctuation violations here, but I wanted an excuse to bust out the photoshopped Victory. You missed her, admit it.
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Also, as a bonus, you should ask Claire to recite her imitation of Keanu doing the line that is the title of this post. It's not to be missed.
6 comments:
oh man. oh. man. i'm saying the line to myself, in my head, as i type.
also, nitpickers unite, each other is two words.
hooo hah.
Thank you. I struggled with that. I'll fix it.
it's a tough one. the only reason I know is because it was a pet peeve of my sixth grade teacher, mr. Agcaoili.
say that name three times fast.
This is only going to make things worse, but I believe this ad, as it is for a German company, is used internationally. Thus millions of people around the world are learning improper English.
Aaah.
Best post title ever.
But anyway, the way I interpret it...
"Nothing is impossible" = "There is nothing that is impossible. All things are possible"
"Impossible is nothing" = "There are things that are impossible, but I don't care, I can do them anyway". In other words, the concept that the word impossible presents means nothing to me.
For example... I say "I am cool", and you say, "Cool is nothing". It doesn't mean nothing is cool, it just means I'm not as great as I think I am.
Now, this is still possibly grammatically incorrect. (maybe it should be "impossibility is nothing"? Is it never ok to start a sentence with an adjective?)
But it does make MORE sense.
That's a fair (and astute) inpretation, Andy.
I agree that the usage is conversational, as you illustrated. But, without the rest of the conversation, it seems marooned to me. In context, it (slangily) makes sense. But, I'm pretty sure it's unsound grammatically speaking. My main complaint, however, is that a tagline such as that should probably not require lengthy exegesis, and perhaps there are more vigorous ways for the sentiment to be expressed in a few words.
But then, advertising has never been about vigorous prose so much as catchy prose.
I think I'd have liked to see a verb involved. After all, they're playing soccer. There's all manner of verbing going on. Maybe "Nevermind the impossible."
The site I linked to for the ad also has a "making of." I haven't watched it yet, but I'm excited.
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