Dear ASPCA,
This has got to stop. If I have to look at this one more time (on my favored web sites, on the subways, driving by me on buses, imprinted on the insides of my eyelids, etc.), I'm going to freak out. I don't WANT to imagine anything involving these three items.
You see, the thing is, I already have eleventy billion cats. I do not need more (nor do I need people thinking that I want more - they judge, ASPCA). And while I am pained by the idea of nice cats living in terrible homes or out on the street, soaked in gasoline and duct-taped to...something... I can't stand any further coercion into taking them to my own bosom. Really. I understand what you're doing, but you're killing me over here. The wife and I took in one of your own foundlings (who has been having full-body convulsion sneezing fits, by the way, what's that about?), and two others. Plus, the neighbor's cats are trying to live with us. Sooo, in short, I'm doing my part. We feed, collar, and distribute 'nip to three cats. I want you to know that. And I want you to stop your reign of guilt and terror.
Respectfully,
Sheena
2 comments:
Do you think I could at least duct tape Millie? Ha, no. Of course I am kidding. But I am still more a dog person.
No, no duct-taping. But you CAN punt her across the room. Not that that will deter her from stopping any annoying behavior, but it'll make you feel better.
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